ISSUES AFRICA WORLD PHILOSOPHY AFRIKAANS LEISURE GENERAL

Dilbert Gobbledygook generator

Never be at a loss for jargon with almost 30,000,000 buzz phrases

Jaco Strauss
29 July 2002 E-Mail this page to a friend

Instructions:
1. Click the 'Make Jargon' button.
2. Watch jargon appear in the box.
3. Repeat to taste (use your Enter/Return key).



Partly based on DACK's Bullshit Generator




	


Previous Visitor Comments

Name Email Subject Location
Eldoraprogram_chair_at_iwls.orgAhkLQNfdbYPptO
Stay inofrmative, San Diego, yeah boy!

Alleniedgegompalpetederarl_at_gmail.comfrornotly Wedirrage
Hello!

Cras enim mi vehicula metus tincidunt venenatis. Praesent hendrerit sapien pretium sit amet consectetur auctor pulvinar turpis eu hendrerit ante tellus nec est.

Sunnyboy Baloyibaloyiss_at_tsamail.co.zaLegal insppropriateness
Due to the interdependency, the arrogancy and the inflexibility of the norms of our country that are not rigorously governed, the unfathomable disparities are not transmogrificated from being implausible to become impeccable.

Bellx15AnonymousGoing forward to a managed outcome
Design semantic ballpark deliverables and it's a heads-up across the piece, horizon scanning. You just need to visualize a result-driven downsizing sales funnel. Or just extend your out-of-the-box dynamic bandwidth.

AndyAnonymousGeneral Comment
Thats not really gobbledygook Have a listen to The Small Faces, Odgens nut gone flake album and thats the real deal

Andre Kornikovicslavinsky Jr.AnonymousGeneral Comment
I told my manager that i would Incubate real-time integrated networks by the end of the week, and he gave me a raise! Thanks Goobledegook Generator! Maybe next week i'll Implement extensible open-source e-tailers to get on his good side after dinner with his wife!

Artcartmage_at_hotmail.comWoot!
I plan to use this in my Buisness Communications class.

Uncle Waltwpdavis_at_earthlink.netWhy Not?
I wrote a program in Fortran, on my 1980 Cromemco Z2W micro, to answer questions a shrink might ask, changing the words like a politition would!

Ian Brodysubject_verb_object_at_yahoo.dot.comWHOA
Absolutely fantastic. I love it.

Elmer T. Fuddcynthiadavid_at_mindspring.comuh
If at first your dog bites, try again at the office.

Amy Kurasawaamy_at_hwangkarate.comamy@hwangkarate.com
very funny.

VisitorAnonymousGeneral Comment
Productize leading-edge dot-com arrays

Imacootiemail_at_gmail.comfab
excellent!

John chanmrjohnchancc_01_at_yahoo.com.hkImpressed
Fun stuff!!!

NJnj_at_yahoo.comHa!
Good fun and some of it quite appropriate!

gestibargest22311_at_cashette.comtnx
nice :) ;))

JoeanoonymouseWell farty party on you!
This is pretty funny.

mphushengwont write itI say
eish!

Billdouchebaggery303_at_hotmail.comBuzzz!
Hahaha perfect!

Pointy haired web developerwebmaster_at_wespankiraquis.comhurrah!
This is great - we just fired the entire marketing department

VisitorAnonymousGeneral Comment
this site has enabled me to facilitate extensible impactful strategies while documenting cross-platform enterprise wide documents.. absolutely brilliant

VisitoranonymousSOW
This thing just produced my Statement of Work -- ROCK ON!!!

Pound DeBattipound.debatti_at_gmail.comExcellent work.
With such disintermediate, efficient, computer-assisted methodologies, you will be able to recall real-time granular abstractions.

RichardAnonymousResponse
This website proved the inspiration for my response to a colleague.... Agreed. At the end of the day, if we expedite a best-of-breed solution we'd be first to market with our win-win technologies. So we'd grow our seeds to trees and ensure 100% customer retention, from cradle to grave.

VisitorAnonymousGeneral Comment
can bricks fit through tunnels?

wardare.you.cursed_at_gmail.comgreat
Aggregate bricks-and-clicks system sales funnel

DaddyMazchrkenna_at_aol.comAre you my line manager?
Its clear you orchastrate dynamic front end infrustructures that enable robust mindshare.

dont rememberdomainlessGobbledygook
My organisation believes in remote administrative innovation.

SammyAnonymousHa ha ha
Now anybody can be an effective manager.

None of your businesssee leftMe likey
I make sentences like this all the time, and find this site great. Or else.com/prove it.

Steve Jonesgetslack_at_hotmail.comBizzaro
Scale magnetic information technology solutions

Reverend Poenderhoespoenderhoes_at_jmail.co.zaGreat stuff
This is great

jackfather_jhackett_at_yahoo.co.ukeater
all pets required

ivorbiganivorbigan_at_hotmail.comCrap
Utter

Osmond Pöliphantechsim_at_im.dkMotherlode
Imagine extrapolating the cost-benefit index of a delayered and customer focused re-engineering win-win analysis of combined public sector vertically integrated policy structure. But streamlined and enterprise-based procurement implementation relieves congestion-prone matrix features by means of transparency and monitored felicitous alignments of OTC modules to modulate user-centric and flexible solution reciprocity. Thus we avoid imperative monologue and gender-relational substrata impact, a wondrous achievement, indeed.

Leah emilydixieson_at_yahoo.comemilydixieson@yahoo.com
administrivia: love that one! (especially if you teach public school)

Alicialoolapazoola_at_hotmail.comhandy cunfusations
Weel you know how it is..if you cant convince, confuse! but in executive style!

James Psubaquatica_at_yahoo.comGeneral Comment
There's obviously been a leak somewhere. How did you get so many components of our draft 2007 Corporate Plan?

Arthur Denttarthur_dentt42_at_yahoo.comauthor-generated vertical infrastructures
I had been looking for a way to scale author-generated vertical infrastructures. With this tool I can do it easily.

Mike Muddmike.mudd_at_optusnet.com.auSeriously!
"I would try to avoid mapping wholistic agile practices to terminology based in phasistic reductionism." Actual reply to an IT testing group.

qolioAnonymousbest in my job
Implementations are facilitated by the use of a project methodology focused on managing risks and monitoring that deliverables are in line with targets.

benben_at_blindcreek.comEmabling core copetencies!
Enabling my key players to focus on their core competencies!

ESAnonymousVery useful
Thank you. With this I was able to prepare a brilliant 12-point strategic plan proposal that will definitely save our corporation from bankruptcy.

mogumogu_at_mogumogu
I participated! darthgates@gmail.com

Kathy Beckerkbecker_at_umr.comGobbledygook
Diane pulled us into this. Now you must use the "Gobbledygook Generator."

elektraenatchiosx_at_hotmail.comGeneral Comment
too much biz speak?

stanley catessnapper130_at_earthlink.netNow I know why
Now I know why I left mamagement and went back to engineering (the real world!)

Tonyarmando_99_at_hotmail.comNow I Know!
I have wondered for years where so many companies (and management within them) got the meaningless nonsense that fills Powerpoint slides, conference calls, corporate product alerts etc.! Now I Know!

Dondoncampbell_at_juno.comAmazed
I am amazed that I can string together about four phrases and put them in an Executive Summary and they appear to make sense! What does that tell you about.....

Davidbcompson_at_yahoo.comBullshit Bingo the song
You might enjoy a song I wrote that is Bull Shit bingo set to song. The "Sales Meeting" was inspired by working for a dot com that had no products or services but had Aeron chairs. http://www.starpolish.com/davidjacobsen - David W Jacobsen http://davidwj.com

Pat Lpatexas_98_at_yahoo.comThe Truth II
Guilt Free- As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

E Runharrunhare_at_mailbox.co.zaSomebody shoot this person!
We are acively lkooking to maximise leverage the business scope in the wholesale environment by engaging in strategic initiatives with potential long-term benefits for all shareholders.

AlanonymousJust in time
I'm writing my self-review today, and next week I'll be working on my 2005 performance plan.

Scottwebguru_at_monsterrodd.comAnarchy now!
Ahh yes... After a little tweaking I've just inserted this into my latest performance plan: Maximize the potential of cross-platform end-to-end user-centric seamless applications while assuring aggregate back-end usable infrastructures stability

Terryterrymurphy404_at_hotmail.comARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE
I may be wrong, I'm convinced I'm not, but I think that this has been used to generate the our manager's feedback to the department q&a

Marcemarce_at_crackdealer.comOooooh, Shiney!
"Visualize cross-platform documented bandwidth" is going to be with me for quite a while.

Mr Very Luckygdcard_at_hotmail.comThere truly is a God!
Thank heavens for this amazing tool. Suddenly unachievable targets can be easily justified with the click of a mouse. I shall be demanding a 50% payrise immediately, now that I am in the know! As Mr Jargon says "The world is my powerdrill"......?

Visionary Philospherpke_at_madasafish.comTaurean Danglies
Wonderful .......Bollox in a Box!

do0gdo0g_at_hotmail.com"Verbing"
Actually, Steve, the process is called verbing, where verbing is, of course, the verbed form of the noun, verb.

Steve Jacksonsteve99_at_everestck.net"Noun-ing"
In the business world, is there any noun that CAN'T be made into a verb???

Impressedimpr_at_ssedImpressed
"Strategize back-end emerging infrastructures" is the probably the most interesting way i've ever heard to describe thinking about taking a dump

Riccardorschiaffino@yahoo.coma fantastic add-on...
To Power Point 1) Open Power Point 2) Select Add On 3) Select Gobbledygook generator 4) Indicate Number of slides et voilà, your presentation is ready! I mean "the content-neutral information-free visual knowledge enhancement eventive action" is ready

Graham J Haighplagissimo@hotmail.comMy contribution
Seen in a wanted ad for a (sic) Diversity Planning Mission Group Leader: "The successful candidate's primary mission will be to aggregate existing aspects of diversity in the organisational workforce, and engage with these in ways which harmonise cultural attitudes among and between the various levels of out human resources going forward, thus supporting our company's stated ethics policy within our global marketing position statement." ...I need to go and have a lie down after that.

BenAnonymousSellable
With a bit of refinement and the right exposure this could be turned into a self-selling product! I have already wondered how much it would cost to download ... see, it's working!

SteveAnonymousBusiness Developer's Dream
I used over half a dozen of these in my latest proposal to our panel about the need for upgrading our network infrastructure and hardware/software equipment allocations. They bought it, and one of them even commented on my business planning skills, and proposal preparation skills. Not only did they take the proposal into consideration, they might even promote me.

Crispin T Wildebunkcrispin@whatwhat.comI say
In retrospect, the interrelation of system and/or subsystem technologies mandates staff-meeting-level attention to possible turn-key collaborative bidirectional logical relationship approaches. Consequently the product configuration is functionally equivalent and parallel to the synergistic effective web-readiness of the system and/or subsystem.

WopAnonymousOhh Dear Lord!!
I think im going to be sick... too much biz speak!! Buzz words Burning Eyes, Brain Melting!

Wulphiepropellerhead@wulphie.comWoot!
This will Transform robust efficient experiences and make Value transparent out-of-the-box corpora! Woot 8-)

VisitorAnonymousreplacement of management
it seems that this thing does exatly the same thing as managers. Give it resume and get it a job. Also I think it doesn't quite demand the same salery

ReverendAnonymousBullshit generator baffles upper-management
Aaaaah--- Yeah, Bs'ed my way out of a tough one with this little program

Waynewayne@bluelabeltech.comJargon
in every day business communication, i haven't a clue what people are talking about 90% of the time and just like everyone else, pretend that i do know what they are talking about.

VisitorAnonymousFor Your Business Plan
Need to give you business plan the credibility it deserves? Inject some management-speak - courtesy of Dilbert.

Jima@secretindespensable
online jargon generators are the future of business development. Now I'm never stuck for a filler-phase

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